|
| |
Alcohol Drug Abuse Treatment Reaching Out For Help
There was a time when alcohol and drug abuse were thought to be problems of down and outs, no-hopers who had nothing in their lives, and people who would never amount to anything. Thankfully, an increasing awareness about these issues and the sharing of ...
Pharmaceuticals: The Next Frontier in America's War on Drugs
Pharmaceuticals: The Next Frontier in America's War on DrugsAmerica's war on drugs, which has been fought in the opium fields of Afghanistan and the cocaine plantations of Columbia, will have to reinvent itself to combat what is set to be America's ...
Quit your addiction here and now.
how to permanently quit addictionsI am a reformed alcoholic. I am a reformed chain smoker.I am an ex fat person. I am also not selling anything.My only wish now is to help people by passing on myknowledge, I guess this sounds too good to be true.When you ...
|
|
|
|
| |
Winning at Custody is one of the most difficult issues parents confront in divorce. In many cases, both parents want custody and are willing to spend whatever it takes to win. Custody is all about what is best for the children - and that involves proving that you are the best parent - i.e. that the other parent is not as good a parent as you and/or that the other parent is just simply a bad parent.
My recommended tips for winning at custody are:
1. If you are not involved in your children's lives now, you are not getting custody from a judge. If you are a working parent who lets your spouse handle all of the details of parenting, you are not prepared to win at custody. You must either change your objectives or change your parenting. If you really want custody, get involved now - in all aspects of your children's lives. Get involved in your children's schooling. Attend their extra curricular events. Take them to the doctor and dentist. Get to know what professionals your children see and be involved with them?
2. Make sure that you are not exposing your children to unsafe or unhealthy environments when they are with you. Are you involved in another relationship? Has there been more than one? Be very careful about exposing your children to your companion(s). Many judges, professionals, and other parents object to the children being subjected to other relationships too early in that process. More important, if you really want to win at custody, it should be because you want to spend time with your children parenting them. Spending time with someone else when you have the children is a recipe for losing at custody in court.
3. Do you put down your children's other parent when the children are with you - either consciously or subconsciously? If you do, stop. One sure way to lose at custody is to hurt the children's relationship with the other parent. A judge will consider whether a parent promotes or prevents the other parent's access to and relationship with the children when seeking custody.
4. Winning at custody requires that you keep a calendar for everything. You need to be able to look back and remember details when it comes time to litigage custody. If you do not know when you had the children, what events you attended, where they were or you were or allof the times your spouse was not timely for a pick up or drop off, you will only hurt your own case. You can keep track on your own calendar, with your own journal, or with a professionally managed calendaring system. We do provide access to a professional calendaring system for custody cases on our web site at http://www.millenniumdivorce.com/custody-planner.asp.
5. Be on time...Be on time....Be on time. Few issues cause as much conflict as a parent who is persistently late in picking up or dropping off children. It irks the judges, it creates arguments with your ex or soon to be ex, and it stresses out the children. So, Be on time.
6. Be flexible. If the other parent wants to switch weekends or weekdays, do it if you can manage your schedule. When the time comes to tell the judge why you should have custody, you can tell the judge that you are the parent who makes sure that the schedule works. In a close case, this issue makes a difference.
7. Do not involve your children in the issues that are pending in court or with attorneys. Courts generally are very opposed to the children knowing the details of what are essentially adult issues. Children should be told that both parents love them and want to see them - that's it. The children may see a psychologist and/or an attorney or other professional if the court directs that. The children can talk to those people about your case - you should not be giving them the details, especially if giving the details involves denigrating the other parent.
8. Winning at custody requires considering one other very important factor: where do the children want to live. It is not a good idea to coach your children on this issue. They will have an opportunity to tell what they want to either the court, their attorney or a psychologist. However, it is a good idea to know what they want. If they want to live with their other parent, you should not spend all of your time and money pursuing custody, unless you believe that it is unsafe or inappopriate for the children to live with that parent.
9. You do have to be willing to show why your children's other parent should not have custody. So, you need to keep track of whether that parent is on time, involved, and flexible with the schedule. If that parent has any issues that affect custody, such as a history of mental health issues which impact his or her ability to care for the children or alcohol or drug addictions, you need to let the court know. Other issues that can and do affect custody determinations include the number and frequency of romantic relationships and the epxosure of the children to those relationship, the proper supervision of the children, and ensuring that the children attend school and see professionals such as a doctor and dentist when necessary.
10. Above all else, hire a good attorney and be open and honest with your attorney. Listen to your attorney, not some friend or relative who is sure about what you should do because they had a friend or a relative who got a better deal. If you are paying your attorney, listen to what he or she has to say.
About The Author
Jean Mahserjian is an attorney and the author of numerous websites and books devoted to helping consumers through the process of divorce. To download free excerpts from her divorce and custody books, visit: http://www.millenniumdivorce.com
jmm@millenniumdivorce.com
There are several types of custody commonly established. Understanding how they differ is an absolute must if you are in any sort of custody dispute. If you don't understand the different types and what each one means to you, you may be mislead or maneuvered into making a custody settlement you will regret later, often for many years.
The first thing you need to know is that "custody" has two components:
- "Legal custody" refers to being able to make decisions for the child, such as medical decisions, educational decisions, living arrangements and location, etc.
- "Physical custody" refers to where the child actually lives, eats, and sleeps.
Together, the components define what kind of actual "custody" is in effect. Common types of custody include the following:
"Sole custody", often referred to as 'full custody', is where one parent has both legal and physical custody and the other parent has only visitation. The sole custody parent typically has the child about 90% of the time, makes all decisions concerning the child, and has final say on everything. The other parent might have every other weekend visitation, or none, or some other schedule decided upon by the court. The other parent can make no decisions for the child's upbringing.
"Joint legal" custody is where both parents have an equal say in making decisions on education, medical, and other issues for the child. If parents with joint legal custody have a dispute over a major decision, then the court will make the decision. Courts frequently side with the custodial parent (the one who has primary physical custody) making the practice of joint custody meaningless in many cases.
"Joint physical" custody can be ordered where one or both of the parents is named 'primary custodian'. (The child's main residence is with the primary custodian). The time can be divided in whatever way the parents or the courts choose, from every other weekend, to 50/50.
Combinations of custody can also be ordered together. Typical combinations are: joint legal, but sole physical, joint physical with sole legal, or sole custody all together. The court may also order joint legal with joint physical, but usually won't do this unless both parents are 'in agreement' and can 'cooperate' in raising the child.
Be aware that in most instances, the parent who is designated the "Primary' parent (sometimes termed 'Primary Residential' parent) is, for all intents and purposes, considered to be the sole custodial parent in the eyes of the court. Even though the parents may have joint legal and physical custody with a 50/50 split, if the court has designated one parent as the 'Primary' parent, that is the person whose wishes will normally prevail. Joint custody is often awarded by the court in an effort to placate fathers and get them to settle. If the court has designated the mother as the 'Primary' parent, the father actually has no more say in the child's life than if the mother had been awarded sole custody.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Ex-Addicts Staying Sober Through SportKGTV San DiegoIt also connected him with other recovering addicts who wanted to be active. "They just make sure that you're staying sober and having fun doing it," he said. "It's the best support crew I could imagine having." More than 4700 people have participated ...and more » |
|
Shumlin proposes five opiate treatment hubsBurlingtonFreePress.comMONTPELIER — The Shumlin administration briefed lawmakers Friday on a plan to create five specialized opiate treatment “hubs” and a support system for community providers who treat addicts. Dubbed the hub-and-spoke initiative, officials said it could ...and more » |
|
