|
| |
Addiction to Complaining
Complaining is a way of life for some people. It was certainly a way of life for my mother. I don’t remember a day going by without her complaining, endlessly. I don’t think I ever heard a word of gratitude out of my mother’s mouth. No matter how good ...
An Introduction to Cocaine Addictions
Cocaine is a highly addictive stimulant witch immediately affects the brain after introducing it to the body. The side effects of this drug are extremely pleasurable and give the user a false sense of euphoria. Like caffiene, cocaine makes the user feel ...
How To Help An Alcoholic
How to help an alcoholic… An alcoholic can be helped to find freedom from alcohol. And, anyone can help who has some counseling or interviewing ability. There are Two Main Signs of Alcoholism Alcoholics suffer from an illness that stops them seeing ...
|
|
|
|
| |
Addiction to Talking
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
There is an old joke about people who talk a lot: Do you know the 12-Step program for people who talk a lot? On and On And on!
The joke recognizes that fact that incessant talking is a common addiction.
Non-stop talking is about using others for attention and approval because of not giving oneself enough attention and approval. The talker is not actually offering anything to the listener. Instead, the talker, in going on and on with a monologue, is pulling energy from the listener. People who end up listening to a talker go on and on are often caretakers who are afraid to hurt the talker by disengaging or by telling the truth about their boredom.
Talkers are often needy people who attempt to assuage their emptiness by trapping people into listening to them. For example, Ive seen people telling a bank teller their life story, while the trapped teller doesnt know how to disengage without being impolite. The problem is that one of the reasons these people are without friends is that no one wants to be with them. Its draining to be at the other end of a needy person who uses talking as a way to fill up.
If you are addicted to talking, perhaps you believe that you are being interesting when you go on and on about yourself. However, you might reconsider the truth of this belief if you find that many people avoid you. Most people will not tell you the truth that they feel tired, drained and trapped in your presence, and bored by your talking. Not wanting to offend you, they just stay away rather speak their truth. They dont answer the phone when they know its you, and they find any excuse to not spend time with you. Its not that they dont like you its that they dont want to be used by you to fill up your emptiness.
HEALING YOUR ADDICTION TO TALKING
Imagine that you have a child within you your feeling self - who feels very alone. This child feels alone because you are not paying attention to him or her. Every time you trap someone into listening to you, it is as if you are handing this inner child away for adoption. You want someone else to attend to and approve of this child instead of you accepting this responsibility.
The very fact of doing this is an inner abandonment and is creating the aloneness that is at the heart of all addictions. By expecting others to listen to you when you dont listen to yourself, you are giving the child within a message that he or she is not important to you. When you do not take the time to attend to your own feelings and needs, you are creating inner neediness and emptiness. This inner emptiness is like a vacuum that attempts to suck caring from others. Yet no matter how often others do listen to you, it never really fills you. This is because only you can give your own inner child what he or she needs.
If you were to take some time each day to have a dialogue, either out loud or in writing, with the part of you who so needs to be heard, you would discover that you can fill your own emptiness. In addition, if you practice imagining a loving spiritual presence holding you, loving you, listening to you and guiding you, you will no longer feel alone.
As long as you believe that it is someone elses job to fill you, you will not take the time to learn how to fill yourself. As long as you believe that it is okay to trap others and use them to fill yourself, you will continue your talking addiction. Only when you get that it is not loving to yourself or others to expect them to take care of your own inner child your own feelings and needs - will you start to take on that responsibility.
While you might not believe that you can fill yourself better than others can, you will not know until you try. My personal experience is that when my intention is to take loving care of myself and to fill myself with the Love that is God, I feel happy and peaceful. When you choose to take responsibility for meeting your own needs instead of abandoning yourself to others, you will never feel alone.
About the Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding psychological and spiritual healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available.
Keywords: addictions, addiction to talking, all addictions, talking
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Shumlin proposes five opiate treatment hubsBurlingtonFreePress.comMONTPELIER — The Shumlin administration briefed lawmakers Friday on a plan to create five specialized opiate treatment “hubs” and a support system for community providers who treat addicts. Dubbed the hub-and-spoke initiative, officials said it could ...and more » |
|
Ex-Addicts Staying Sober Through SportKGTV San DiegoIt also connected him with other recovering addicts who wanted to be active. "They just make sure that you're staying sober and having fun doing it," he said. "It's the best support crew I could imagine having." More than 4700 people have participated ...and more » |
|
