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Claiming Back Your Energy, Understanding Your Resistance
By Hershey Wier, MBA
http://www.HersheyWier.com
This article is an excerpt from the ebook (and future hardcover) Dream... Invite Peace & Clarity Into Your Life. Dream... is first of a three-part course series designed to help you discover and attract your career & life goals.
This article may be reproduced in electronic format as long as it is left in tact, with author's name, contact information and url included.
In the full ebook version of Dream... you receive 20 lessons spaced over the course of four weeks. These lessons, when applied as directed, can release you from ways and thoughts that are no longer working for you, and guide you onto a new, fulfilling life path.
...
RESISTANCE
Yes, CAPS, because it is a biggie. We all have it. Why? Because we're human. Resistance is built into us to protect us. To keep us from trying things that will make us look foolish, or worse, that will harm or kill us. Ever walk to the edge of a cliff and get a shot of adrenaline shooting through you saying "DANGER! DANGER! STOP!" That's resistance.
Do you know what is more important to me than making sure my house is decluttered and spic and span? Making my professional deadlines. Getting my work done and done well. One of the reasons is that when I was a child, my homework was my only responsibility. When I came home from school (particularly in my grade school days), I had to sit inside the house with my mom, I had to get my homework done. No ifs, ands, or buts. I couldn't go outside and play, even though my friends did, and their homework could wait until after dinner. Not for me. I had to get that homework done, and get this - I even did this on many Saturday mornings. My mom was alongside with me, and, actually, it was kind of fun. But, it was definitely a must-do before anything else
could be done.
So, what value do you think I grew up with? Cleanliness is next to godliness? Wrong.
Now, when I've got a choice in my adult life, to spend time working on professional deadlines or do a domestic chore - guess what I gravitate toward, and guess what I ignore. Ding, ding, ding... I don't even have to tell you the answer.
The underlying force behind it? Resistance. Resistance because a voice is telling me that if I don't work on that deadline it won't get done. And, if I don't get it done, it will lead to a string of consequences that I'll be eternally sorry for, and maybe even lead to my destruction. Okay, well, a little bit of an exaggeration - or is it?
Resistance is put in our bodies to protect us from danger. It's the survival instinct that our ancestors' ancestors had from way back. I don't fight it. I work with it. If that resistance to getting my housework done is meant to protect me, then I listen to it. I'm an animal with instincts, and something in my mechanism is telling me that I will survive best when my deadlines are met. What to do with the housework? Put it lower on the totem pole of priorities, because my protective animal instinct says so.
I honestly feel that I cannot do it any other way. My wiring doesn't allow it. So then, we're back to working on those "problem areas," the things that don't get done - house clutter, for example - working at them with baby steps and the techniques I'm sharing with you in this course.
Notice that from the point of view of my animal instinct - which is focused on survival - I don't have a problem. That instinct, put there to protect me, doesn't see a problem with ignoring the housework. That animal instinct - that resistance - is determined to make sure I survive - and - it dictates that above all, my professional
deadlines must be met. The rest - "Who cares!" - the voice of resistance says. Meeting my professional deadlines also happens to be something I love to do and gravitate toward. There is no fighting it. It's in my genes, my wiring.
Same for many of you who have job responsibilities or care-giving responsibilities. Your resistance gets you to focus on your "survival" concerns first, ignoring the others or leaving them for later.
For those of you planning to read Create...™ (Course 2-Self-Discovery)and Succeed...™ (Course 3-Attracting Your Life Goals), most of you may have an idea what you'd like to do in your life, but you're facing resistance. Something is telling you not to go for it. Listen to the reasons why.
I'll leave you with this: We're either in two states with resistance:
1. Open - willing to listen, learn, try, willing to stick to whatever goal we set.
2. Closed. We don't want to try or we give up, or we become bored, or whatever - but it isn't action, and it doesn't belong in the "open" category.
If you find you're in the closed stage with a particular issue - you can:
1. ask yourself why
2. journal about it and see if something comes up eventually 3. ignore the issue that you're stuck on because it doesn't matter anyway 4. stay stuck / closed until you're ready to open up again.
Trust your resistance on this one. For some reason, it just may not be time to get into action.
As human beings, we cannot set an internal timer in ourselves that says: "Okay, at 8:00 am each day, I'm going to do ___, then at 8:30, ______ , then 10:00 am ____ etc." We're not machines. It doesn't happen (unless your paycheck is tied to it or someone is standing over you with a crowbar).
Yet, how many programs are out there that tell you to do exactly that - to become a robot. To do something regularly every day, or in intervals? It may work for a day or so, or maybe you're really on a roll and can keep it up longer. But, at some point, most people will quit if the program doesn't fit their wired-in cycle. It's not you - it's your cycle, your system.
You have limitations - know them. And, if it's not you that's holding you back, it's that "life-stuff" that happens. For example, a friend or relative has a baby - or you had to go out of town. Stuff happens suddenly and throws a wrench into your cycle. Life is like that.
Be careful, however, what kinds of "life-stuff" you allow to side-track you. For example, do you take a phone call from a friend wanting to chat? Or, should your answering machine be turned on during your productivity sessions. These are decisions to make as you continue to note and understand your resistance.
Assignment
Learning About Your Resistance
What is one main area of your life in which you are feeling resistance?
In what way does that resistance show up? For example,
What excuses do you make for yourself in order to allow the voice of resistance to win? What activities / 'to-dos' suddenly become in urgent need of your attention? Day of week / time of day that your resistance shows up more than others?
Do you feel comfortable with your voice of resistance?
What would you like to say to your voice of resistance?
A note that we work heavily on exploring and dealing with resistance in Create...™ Course #2 of the Dream... Create... Succeed...™ Course Series.
Would you like to learn more? This article is an excerpt from Dream... Invite Peace and Clarity Into Your Life. To learn more, visit http://www.HersheyWier.com
Dream... Invite Peace & Clarity Into Your Life
ANEWIST™ Business & Career Transition Services HersheyWier.com
Copyright 2002, 2004, Hershey Wier, All Rights Reserved
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