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Developing Original Humor for Your Talk
Most humor in the real-world setting is unplanned. It just happens. Learn three key principles for finding and creating original humor. Most humor in the business setting is unplanned. It just happens. Spontaneous events with clients and co-workers ...
Hair Care for Children
Salon visits can be scary experiences for small children: They are boring, full of strangers and strange smelling products, you are being ordered to sit still for ages, whilst some idiot is doing terrible things to your hair which you didn't want to ...
What do you WANT? What do you DESERVE?
INTRODUCTION This article is used for discovering our needs from life, our desires for where we want to be and who we want to become. Remember life is not about finding out who we are but about creating who we want to become, the things we will leave ...
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And what a classic he is! I was recently given a video of nothing but Foghorn cartoons, and I laughed until I couldn’t see straight. Remember the Widow Hen? Henery Hawk? Prissy? There were other characters, but out of them all I think I loved Barnyard Dog the most. Remember how Fog would tiptoe up to his house, pick him up by the tail, and then paddle his backside with a plank or worse? “That dawg” would jump up and chase Foghorn like he was possessed until his rope leash ran out, which would then yank a knot in his neck each and every time. Simply put, they just don’t make characters like these anymore, heck, they don‘t even make any close to these anymore.
The thing I liked best about Foghorn Leghorn was some of his remarks in the cartoons. There were some pure classics, I’ve laughed so hard at some of them that one time I actually pulled some muscles in my ribcage from strenuous laughter. He said some of the most off-the-wall things imaginable, but he wasn’t that bad of a philosopher, either. Believe it or not, there’s a lot we can learn from ole Fog. So folks, here are some classic Foghorn remarks, delivered as only our favorite rooster can deliver them:
"Okay, I'll shut up. Some fellas have to keep their tongues flappin' but not me. I was brought up right. My pa used to tell me to shut up and I'd shut up. I wouldn't say nothin'. One time darn near starved to death. WOULDN'T TELL HIM I WAS HUNGRY!!"
"That boy's so dumb, he thinks a Mexican
border pays rent."
"That dawg's busier than a centipede at a toe-counting contest."
"The snow's so deep, the farmers have to jack up the cows so they can milk 'em!"
“Gal reminds me of the highway between Fort Worth and Dallas. No curves.”
"Did ya see that hawk after those hens? He scared 'em! That Rhode Island Red turned white, then blue. Rhode Island, red, white, and blue! That's a joke, son, a flag-waver! You're built too low. The fast ones go over your head. Ya got a hole in your glove. I keep pitchin' 'em and you keep missin' 'em! Ya gotta keep your eye on the ball! Eye. Ball. Eyeball! I almost had a gag, son--a joke, that is!"
“That woman’s as cold as a nudist on an iceberg.”
"I've been a good sport about this up till now, but that boy's forcing me to use stronger measures."
“That dog's as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrel of oat meal.”
“You look like two miles of bad road.”
See what I mean? The best thing is, I could post up several more pages of these classic lines. Without question, Foghorn Leghorn was the greatest cartoon character of all-time. But he was even more than that - y’all see, Foghorn Leghorn wasn’t just a cartoon character, he was a rooster. A Southern rooster. With that accent, where else could he come from? He’s one of us. And just like rock music, gospel music, football, women, fried chicken, chili dogs, beaches, or anything else you want to lay on the table, the very best stuff comes from the South. It’s as simple as that. And if anyone out there doesn’t want to believe me, fine, just send me some money and we’ll sponsor an essay contest based on the following theme:
“Who Wants to Move to Rhode Island?”
The winner will get a one-way ticket coach fare ticket there, plus a video tape or DVD full of their favorite Rhode Island animated character’s cartoons...
About the Author
Ed’s latest book, “Rough As A Cob,“ can be ordered by calling River City Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. He’s also a popular after dinner speaker, and his column runs in a number of Southeastern publications. You can contact him via email at: ed3@ed-williams.com, or through his web site address at: www.ed-williams.com.
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The Majesty of Raphael in LondonNew York TimesFor the first time in history, seven of the 10 “cartoons,” or full-scale compositions, commissioned in 1515 by Pope Leo X are assembled at the Victoria and ... |
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