|
| |
Add / Adhd Children : Being Your Child's Best Friend
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If so-- my hat is off to you! ADD / ADHD children are brilliant, full of energy, smart as a whip (as grandma says), and tons of work. They are also the rising sun and the setting star: meaning much of life revolves ...
Childhood Friendships
Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary part of growing up. While some of our children will maintain these friendships into adulthood, many will not. Kids move away or they find other friends with more current interests and grow ...
Valentine'S Day Snowflake Contest
Empowered Parent Snowflake ContestTo enter the Empowered Parent Snowflake contest, click on the design of your choice and either make one of these 4 patterns, or create your very own original!Send the completed snowflake to:JB Information StationBox ...
|
|
|
|
| |
print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.
Title: Are You Present With Your Children?
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
Copyright: © 2005 by Margaret Paul
URL: http://www.innerbonding.com
Word Count: 662
Category: Parenting
Are You Present With Your Children?
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
How often are you fully and completely present when you are with your children? One of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is to be fully present with them. This can often be a big challenge.
When my three children were growing up, I worked full time as a counselor, wrote books, traveled on book tours, and pursued my passion as an artist – in addition to spending time with my husband. The only way I could be fully present when I was with my children was to set aside “time alone” with them. “Time alone” was daily quality time I spent with each of my children, doing whatever they wanted to do. During this time I did not answer the phone or deal with the many issues of running a household. It was time set aside to be fully present with them, not even thinking about other things.
The message you give to your children when you don’t spend quality time being fully present is that they are not important. When answering the phone, or getting things done, or thinking about what you have to do tomorrow is more important than being present with your children, they get the message that being with them and really knowing them is not very important to you.
When I was growing up, my mother was always busy. She never had the time to just be with me. She never wanted to know about my thoughts and feelings, or about how things were going at school. She never had the time to play with me or just hang out with me. While she said that she loved me and that I was important to her, I never felt it. Words don’t cut it when the actions don’t follow.
If it is not important to you to just be with your children – talking with them, playing with them, taking a walk, holding them, listening to them, sharing love with
them, gazing at them with love – then they will likely not feel loved by you. No matter how many things you buy them, or how often you tell them you love them, if they are not important enough to you to REALLY be with them, then it is likely they will not feel loved and cherished by you.
Your children need your focused attention, and when they don’t get it, they may pull for it in various ways. They may chatter on and on, trying to keep your attention. They may act out by fighting with each other, or by not listening to you or going into resistance regarding chores, homework, hygiene, bedtime, and so on. For many children, even negative attention feels better than no attention. This may create a very negative vicious circle, in that the more they act out, the less you feeling like being with them, but the less you are with them in a loving and attentive way, the more they may act out.
Think about how you feel when someone gives you his or her full attention. Doesn’t it feel wonderful? How often does someone look you in the eyes and give you his or her full attention? How often do you feel really listened to and heard by someone? Unfortunately, many people are so intent on being listened to and heard that they don’t listen and hear.
The simple act of being fully present with your children will do more for them than you can imagine. I have many clients who were deeply impacted by a friend or relative who really listened to them – even if it only occurred occasionally.
You have an opportunity to give your children a great gift – being fully present with them with your love, compassion, empathy, interest, sense of humor, playfulness, and affection. You have the opportunity each day, even if it is just for half an hour, to fully cherish them.
They grow up so fast. Don’t miss this opportunity each day.
About the Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 
New Straits Times |
Parenting on a tabletNew Straits TimesGood parenting is not easy but it is possible. As long as you strike a balance between technology and real-life experiences, your child will be fine. Children should spend time outside the house and not be glued to the computer all day. |
New Straits Times |
Smart Parenting: Fun in the great outdoorsNew Straits TimesBy ZAID MOHAMAD 0 comments THE school holiday is here again. Are you, the parents, prepared for it? Holidays can turn out to be a nightmare because kids with time on their hands and no solid plans can mean trouble. On the other hand, those who have ... |
|
The parallel universe of parentingFremont TribuneOne, is that parenting baby ducks is a difficult task. And two, some parents are better (or luckier) than others. Case in point is the current crop of ducklings that call this small, old sandpit home. The first batch that we noticed was a darker, ... |
|
