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Feelings and Attitudes
Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does one cause the other to happen? Which one has more power over how we respond? Does the person experiencing them have any choice in the matter? What if they are in conflict? Feelings are what ...
On being a foreigner
I have heard one too many foreigners complain about their adopted country. Granted, for some, being transplanted from a culture to another was not part of their life ultimate goals, but circumstances forced a move from a loved and familiar culture to a ...
Running On Empty
It’s a fast-paced world. More and more of us are finding less and less free time in our lives. You know the feeling… its always something/someone who needs us. Work is hectic, and it seems like you have to work harder and longer just to stay even. ...
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Happiness is similar. Everyone wants to be happy, but not everyone knows how to recognize and stay with it; they're always looking for more. The search for happiness is lost when it becomes an insatiable pursuit for getting more.
The difference between the two is like the difference between savouring and lingering over the sweetness and flavour of a mango, and quickly gobbling it up before eating the next sweet. The pursuit becomes the focus, rather than the experience or the satisfaction that comes from what we do have.
This endless pursuit for happiness can consume us for all of our lives. We may think that once we have more money, a relationship, or that perfect job we'll be happy, yet when we get there we find it's not what we'd hoped for, or we don't take the time to really enjoy it.
There is always something more to be pursued, bought, owned, done, that we rarely enjoy what is in front of us. Even the search for spirituality is pursued in this manner. People go from spiritual leader to leader searching for meaning, often going as far as India to find fulfilment.
The pattern is easily recognizable, and we can all fall into it with thoughts like "when I do...own...have...get...go to... I'll be happy", or "if only...would happen." But the truth is once whatever is sought after is obtained, we're off looking for the next thing. We rarely stop and simply enjoy what is happening right now or fully appreciate what we have.
Some believe this constant desire and pursuit for more is rooted in our biology — that it helped us to survive when we didn't have all the conveniences that are available to us today. Some believe that this pursuit is rooted in a society that
emphasizes consumerism, and another view is that it reflects an alienation from ourselves and one other.
Regardless of what we believe to be at the root of this constant wanting, it seems to take conscious and deliberate effort to experience contentment or satisfaction in our lives — to fully appreciate life, people, and the activities we engage in. And, this doesn't mean appreciating things that are hurtful, wrong, or violent, because that would reflect not fully appreciating ourselves or other people.
Instead, it means taking a new look at ourselves, life, and the world around us and seeing the beauty that is there. It doesn't mean ignoring what isn't right, like violence in our and other countries, but it also doesn't mean denying the good we do see.
It means getting in touch with the awe of a child who see magic in everything, who notices the simplest of things and takes great pleasure in them. It means appreciating and valuing yourself, the people you know, what you've done, and what you are doing. It means slowing down and savouring every moment, or as many moments as possible rather than hurrying along to the next task.
By noticing more, and by appreciating what is good in their lives (like the glass full of fresh clean water), many people find that they begin to feel more content — they find what they were searching for all along.
About the Author
Kali Munro, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist in private practice in Toronto, Canada. She has twenty years experience specializing in a variety of issues including sexual abuse, relationships, sexuality, eating disorders, and body image. She provides individual and couple therapy in Toronto, as well as online. She offers free healing resources at her web site about relationships, abuse, sexuality, and much more. Check out her inspiring and healing site www.KaliMunro.com
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Scripture or spiritual slavery?Ashland Daily TidingsBy Gokul Gokani The first and last obstacle to a real spiritual experience is to find out whether we really are part of the whole or separate from it. Are we an island; are we to struggle to find our destiny, work hard to survive or be doomed, ... |
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