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1.Get a coach.
In order to problem-solve effectively, it’s crucial to view the situation objectively, which you aren’t in a position to do. No one is. Working with a coach can help you clarify what’s going on, and come up with strategies for dealing with it. You’ll learn more about yourself, and how to deal with others. That’s a win-win. Don’t leave the situation without learning from it.
2.The company culture.
This isn’t what’s in the P&P manual (which is about legal) it’s about how the place really runs. If the norm is hostility and competence, you won’t be changing it, and you can count on it getting worse. Should your particular manager leave, another one similar will be hired.
3.Everything else is excellent.
This I usually hear from people new to a job, because you can count on things getting worse with time, not better. If there’s something important or meaningful you’re getting out of the job, stay, but don’t get lulled in to staying forever. It will negatively impact your ability to function at top-form eventually.
4.Your outlook
Your attitude can always improve a situation. Just don’t think you can change the personality or skills of the manager, or the culture of the company that allows this. Work with your coach, and surround yourself with positive people. Jobs and managers come and go. The only disastrous outcome would be for you to become cynical and pessimistic about yourself, life, or people in general.
5.Are you in the loop?
Sometimes your colleagues can make up for a bad manager. After all, there’s power in numbers. If you have a core group that can work around the situation, you’ll have support. However, expect the behavior of the manager to get worse as he or she tries to compensate for perceived loss of power.
6.Age and career potential of the manager.
Use your gut instincts to evaluate every new situation you move into. Quick and accurate reality-testing is an EQ competency.
Common sense dictates if they’re new and young, they may not make it. Actually these days anyone “new” may not make it. If they have some experience under their belt and seem interested in promoting themselves, they’ll probably be moving on and up. If they are middle-aged, have been there a while, and are dug in like a tick, consider they’ll endure and you will not.
Your gut feelings can tell you who is on-the-move and who has moved in to stay. You can also tell how important this particular manager is to those above him and her. If they’re liked by superiors, should there be a confrontation, they’ll be staying, you’ll be leaving.
Pay attention to things like this. It will make a difference in your career.
7.Know your strengths and remind yourself of them.
This is not referring to emotional, or to knowing your limitations (those it’s necessary to know these as well), but rather to the innate talents and skills you bring to bear to any situation. The personality traits and competencies that you use for problem-solving, and how you look at things. take one of the many assessments available and review them with a coach.
8.Life skills.
Always be working on your personal and professional development. Just as you acquire degrees, skills and expertise in your field, you should be developing your emotional intelligence. Such competencies as stress management, leadership, interpersonal skills, quick and accurate reality-testing, communication skills, resilience and flexibility will help you in this situation, as well as any other you face. Learning EQ has long-term positive results. Most clients recognize positive outcomes immediately in their lives.
9.Get out of it the good things there to be gotten.
An “impossible” manager can range from impossible, to difficult, to challenging, to possible. You have some leverage there in your own attitude and EQ. If there are things making the job worth keeping, focus on those. Work on getting along with the manager well enough. Don’t exaggerate their effect on you. Some emotional strain is probably more to be tolerated than a manger who is impacting your ability to function, learn and increase the skills you need to advance your own career.
10.Be mindful if this is a pattern.
If this is the last in a long series of impossible managers, it’s probably you. If you transfer to another department or job, and have another impossible manager, it’s probably you. Get coaching!
About the Author
©Susan Dunn, MA, Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . I teach individuals emotional intelligence through individual and group coaching, workshops, Internet courses and ebooks – http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.htm. ). A total program for personal and professional development. mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. I train and certify emotional intelligence coaches. Email me for information.
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Free Stress Management Seminar by Creators of VeevaMarketwire (press release)Knowing stress management and mood balance are key factors in enjoying life, he assembled a team of scientific and medical experts to create a natural, drug-free solution called Veeva. "Sometimes it's tough to enjoy life to the fullest," says Mr. Roy. |
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